Trials and Tribulations
When you train in anything for long periods of time there are many trials and tribulations. For example, I coached girl's softball for 10 years. I really enjoyed teaching the girls new things and watching them improve over the season. There were always things that were tough to deal with, but during those 10 years they were just noise. Then the final year I coached I had to make a decision whether to stay or go. I chose to leave coaching, even though I really liked it. The organization I was with had changed and I felt like the support for the game wavered. I left coaching but took all the lessons learned with me.
In Gayong, I have faced many times I've wanted to quit. Not just one or two mind you, but many times. After an injury, I reassess. After certain experiences, I reassess. There have been two times training I have seriously considered stopping. It took many days of thinking it out and considering my options. Ultimately I stayed because I am better when I am Gayong. But each experience of being on the pinnacle and not knowing where my decisions will take me, changed me and how I approach Gayong.
There have been many people who have come and gone, some have been my training partners or teachers. Some have died. There are people who choose to stay. Those people fight through their experience just the same as I do. Life gets in the way sometimes and you may need to step away from the experience to make your decisions. For me, staying is what pushes me, what challenges how I think about the way I see Gayong and the way I am seen by Gayong. Trust me, it's not the easiest thing to take an honest look at yourself and in return have that honesty thrust upon you by other people. Those are the things that make or break you. Injuries heal, but the internal struggle is always there.
The struggle is what makes you. The struggle is what challenges what you believe and what you know and makes you look at who you are and where you are going. The struggle is what keeps the passion for something. If you stop struggling with issues or understanding you will lose the passion. The trials and tribulations are difficult to experience, but to sound cliche, they are what makes life worth living.